This is the first of two blogs on this topic. Part Two will deal with solutions to each of the following issues.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues.

Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blog, Widower, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyDecember 23, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of grief Comments

Is Religious or Secular Grief Counseling Best for You?

Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.

For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 9, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGrief therapy, healing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Create Your Own Men's Grief Group

Widowers desperately need the support of others during their grieving. Hospices, therapists, and others have found that Men’s Grief Groups are able to help widowers in ways that coed groups can not.

Fred ColbyNovember 26, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorComment

Surviving the Holidays

How do you steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each may have very different experiences during these special days.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 24, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Widower’s syndrome, widower loneliness, overcoming widower isolation Comments

Charles’ Lessons for Widowers

The surprise celebrity who emerged from the group was Charles, an unlikely romantic figure. Upon first meeting him, he does not strike you as someone who would become the object of affection for so many women viewers!

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGolden Bachelor, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, widower lonelinessComment

Overcoming Grief, Anger, Stress, Etc.

Unfortunately, we cannot stop the world and get off when our wife passes. So, we end up adding this humongous load of grief on top of everything else going on….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 28, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, Survivor's guilt, Widower angerComment

Why Go To Group Therapy?

On the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way.

For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”

Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, WidowerFred ColbyOctober 14, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorMen’s Grief Groups, Widower’s syndrome, Widower information, Stages of grief, healing grief, Coping with complicated griefComment

Surviving Anticipatory Grief

If you were a caregiver for your wife for an extended time, there is a good chance that you experienced anticipatory grief. Expectation of imminent death can be both a blessing and a curse. Our aversion to admitting that she will die may cause us to avoid contemplating what the future might bring. And yet, many symptoms of grief may emerge during this pre-death period.

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbySeptember 30, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower book, Widower syndrome, widower information, anticipatory grief Comments

Loving Yourself to Health

Ask yourself: “What would your wife want for you? Would she want you to be circling the drain of self-induced pain and grief, or would she want you to be active, reengaged with life, and continuing to find ways to love and be loved?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 16, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How a widower can keep their relationships, Grief therapyComment

Ignoring the Grief Others Are Feeling

It is easy during the first year or so after your wife’s passing to become so immersed in your own grief that you ignore the grief others are feeling. Let’s face it, during this time our grief is overwhelming! It often blocks out everything else so that we are unaware of much that’s going on around us, even though our survival depends in part on our ability to maintain our most important relationships.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 2, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Widower’s syndrome, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

Remorse About Your Wife’s Illness and Death

“My wife, she's still a nice person but she has no patience anymore and it's like we're fighting a constant battle… I'm facing terrible depression. I am a strong person but everybody does have a breaking point.” (T. Kemp)

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, WidowerFred ColbyAugust 19, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with death of wife, Grieving, Suicidal thoughtsComment

Marriage? Cohabitation? Live Apart Together? or Stay Single?

Suppose we do enter into a new and meaningful relationship with someone. In that case, the inevitable question that may emerge is whether you should get married, move in together, stay single, or try Living Apart Together (LAT)?

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyAugust 5, 2024Fred Colby, Authorovercoming widower isolation, How a widower can keep their relationships, Is a Widower ready to marryComment

What to Say, or Not Say to a New Widower

Friends and family members are often afraid to speak with a new widower… and with good reason as we are frequently emotionally traumatized after losing our wives. The following summarizes advice I shared during some recent radio interviews.

Widower, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyJuly 21, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Families, Widower anger, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolationComment

Questions About New Relationships – Part 2

Should the new girlfriend insist on removing all the photos and mementos of the past relationship? How does a widow/widower give their new relationships focus, attention, intentional care, and nurturing while keeping reminders of a late spouse hanging around?

Widower, Widower blog, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJuly 8, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Is a widower ready to dateComment

Questions About New Relationships – Part 1

Do you think a widower (with proper time for grief and healing) can go on to love another as much as the late wife? This question was posed to my by a therapist and doctoral student, who works with Couples in Conflict Management. This article speaks to this and other difficult questions for widowers.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJune 23, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower building new relationships, Stages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Is a widower ready to dateComment

Why Are We So Damned Lonely?

A friend who recently lost his wife and I were commiserating recently over how damned lonely we were soon after losing our wives. This is despite our backgrounds which included interacting with hundreds (if not thousands) of people yearly.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMay 28, 2024Fred ColbyStages of grief, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, widower loneliness Comments

YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING

I certainly don’t know everything! And… more than likely, neither do you.

One of the biggest shocks upon entering deep grieving as a widower is the realization of how ill-prepared we are to deal with it… much less survive it!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 29, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Deep grieving, Healing GriefComment

Golden Bachelor Marriage Ends Quickly – Why?

Recent headlines about the very brief three-month marriage of Widower Gerry Turner (the first Golden Bachelor) and Theresa Nist coming to an end raise some interesting questions.

The pace of the Golden Bachelor program is frenetic. It expects a Bachelor to identify, court, and then marry a new bride after just a few months of meeting and dating a wide variety of women. This is unrealistic…

Widower Relationships, Widowers and dating, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyApril 15, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Gerry Turner, Is a widower ready to date, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

Sex and the Widower

Sex is a topic that we widowers often have difficulty discussing with each other, much less with friends, family, or even therapists. And yet, it needs to be addressed. Why?…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyApril 1, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Deep grieving, Coping with death of wife, Sex and Widower Comments

WHAT CAN MATT AND BEN TEACH WIDOWERS?

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem an unlikely pair to be teaching Widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are a great example for us to follow….

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower support, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyMarch 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

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